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Holidays are a wonderful time

Published 1:04pm Saturday, December 14, 2013

By Dr. James Troglen

The holidays – what a wonderful time of family, friends, food and fellowship (notice the alliteration, I worked hard on that).

But what about the lesser known holidays? Are you aware of some of them? I am serious – pay attention.

Let me share a few. January is National Oatmeal Month. In honor of that favorite American food we are to eat cardboard every morning for breakfast during January. Sure it tastes better with milk and sugar but cardboard is cardboard!

What about No Brainer Day (Feb. 27). Isn’t that Congress’ favorite holiday? Yeah, sure.

There is Old Stuff Day on March 2, the day all children take their grandparents to school for show and tell and men must pull their pants up under their arms. March 5 is Multiple Personality Day where if you are pulled over for speeding you can claim it wasn’t really you speeding but the other guy; you know the one in my head telling me I’m Richard Petty.

There are some I am afraid to even guess at such as March 28, Something on a Stick Day, and Sept. 2, National Beheading Day, or Feb. 7, Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day. Please keep your thoughts to yourself.

Two holidays come close together and for a reason I suppose. There is the second week of July which is Nude Recreation Week preceded by International Joke Day on July 1.

What about July 13, Embrace Your Geekness Day? Do you know what you call a geek after college? Boss!

We have National Bubba Day commemorating all those who own pickup trucks with mud grips and gun racks and who chew tobacco. I am intrigued by the exotic days such as National Escargot Day, May 24, and National Caviar Day on July 18 – something’s fishy here. I am sure you got that or are you a bit slow! Get it?

Of course who could get by without Lumpy Rug Day, May 3, where we learn where all the Christmas fruit cake went or where our lost parakeet ended up – Ugghhh!

I personally love No Diet Day on May 6, the international day set aside to honor Twinkies as our national “no diet” food.

Don’t forget Ex Spouse’s Day, April 14. A day to reflect on how could something so right ended up so wrong. I understand it is a favorite of women placing large half-starved Dobermans in a box as a gift. Funny gift. I don’t understand, hmmmmm.

I am upset with one day since it is politically incorrect and is harmful to the ego of those less fortunate than others – it is National Hairstyle Appreciation Day (seriously?).

I will close with the favorite of women everywhere but one men rarely acknowledge – the first week of April is Read a Road Map week. “Map I don’t need no stinkin map!”

It seems there is a holiday or day for everything. But let’s make sure we keep the real holiday a true holiday.

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord (Luke 2:10-11).

Merry Christmas.

 

Dr. James Troglen is pastor of First Baptist Church of ­Wetumpka.

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